4 days left of 2013, and I decided that one of my new years resolutions would be to start a blog and keep it updated. I felt the urgency to do so solely for one purpose. To be more resilient. In the month of November, November 7th to be exact and December 20th there were two blogs written against me by two former acquaintances. Of course, the blogs were written in poor taste and reeked of jealousy and envy whereas, My blog isn't designed to bash anyone but to simply chronicles my journey.
My year started off on a very sad note with the passing of my beloved grandmother. She was one of the best women you could possibly ever meet. Losing her was definitely detrimental to myself and my family. I learned to cope with her passing by distracting myself with other things and people. I'm not quite sure if that was the best choice. Throughout the year I did continue working on the projects and goals I've set in my mind the previous year. But I did fall into depression through out the year due to things not working out in the time period I had in mind. And like all mothers, you have to bounce back because you have a little person who can't fend for themselves. So I started doing things that brought joy into my life. Yoga, Pilates, taking Michael to different children-friendly environments, making vision boards and books, listening to music, and meeting new people.
Despite the obstacles I faced head on this year, I tried (and sometimes succeeded) to put on a strong front because I just hate expressing sad shit. I get lost in my thoughts, what I feel I can't really translate to be understood and that's very frustrating. Of course, running across people who takes great joy in using your hurt against you also, put a lot of pressure on me to not share everything about myself. Briefly touching one of the blogs written against me, something stood out that really bothered me but not in the way that person may have wished it did. They made a regard to me about having my child at the age of 23. And diagnosed me as being insecure over it. I'll like to state two things: One thing is I was 23, attending college and working under the work study program at my school. If I thought having a child at that time wasn't the right time for me, I wouldn't be a mother today. The second thing I would like to say is, my child is smart, handsome, funny, and the best thing that has ever happened to me. That wouldn't make me insecure. Far from insecure.
Throughout the year, I learned who my friends were and who never was. I learned that my tolerance for phony people has reached an all time low and I can sense them a mile away. I also came to realize that a lot people who had came into my life only really pertain one person alone. That was a tough pill to swallow. I don't regret my friendship with this person nor do I have any intentions on ending it ever over envious people. I just wish I had been warned a head of time the bad that comes with the good.
I didn't accomplish a lot off my bucket list this year. But I did have a lot of fun. I got to speak with a lot of influential people online, over the phone, and in person. I was so blessed to have finally meet and speak with one of my mentors in my mind, BJ Coleman at Ms. Flo Anthony's event this past November. To look up to this man and watch him tell Ms. Anthony how much he idolized her and looks up to her was definitely a humbling moment for me. Watching Janelle Monaé in concert this past match was also a amazing moment. To see how much she has grown this year alone makes me cherish that moment forever. I've met a lot of people in the PR field, the marketing and advertising field as well, I look forward into going into business with them this coming up year. I also enjoy watching my friend perform on stage. The presences he serves is definitely a family trait. Proud is a understatement for what I feel. It's a vision that was placed within him that is now being presented for all of us to witness. Don't miss out on it.
I started my new years resolutions, affirmations, meditations, vision boards, etc etc. I have a unwavering belief that these things (although not a genie) can help make your dreams come true. Whoever tells you otherwise probably didn't do it correctly. People have the power to attract anything and everything they want and do not want. (Notice I said everything and anything. Not anyone. People have freewill.) Training yourself to not focus on the things you don't want is most certainty not easy. I know. But focusing on what you do want is the most easiest thing in the world. I'm a dreamer. Definitely a daydreamer. I put on my headphones, and just dream of scenarios that goes along with the music. A visionary of sorts. Whether I'm listening to Fleetwood Mac or drake, it works every time. I also read a lot of self development books which I truly enjoy because when the author talks directly to you, you get a sense that they are talking to you not a audience. I look forward to having a lot of fun with my friends and loved ones this year, accomplishing goals, doing epic shit, and continuing to watch and root for my friends to continue following their dreams and doing them. Keep your dreams alive no matter what.
Keep ya updated!!
